We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
