If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
