Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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