You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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