i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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