i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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