I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
