your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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