I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
