he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
