Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Jerry, you need to find god
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
