Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize