Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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