she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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