Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
