im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize