I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
