Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
