how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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