Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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