I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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