no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
