i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
