He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
