No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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