im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
