Your tits are I can't wait for
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
