you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
