dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
