You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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