Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
