Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
