No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
