I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
