Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
