i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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