It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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