so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
