Christians are straight up FREAKS
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
