Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
