Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
