I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My hand turned me down
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Everyone says I win the strip club
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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