i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
wow bdsm is so cute
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize