I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
