I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
