dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
