My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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