Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize