I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
