I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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