whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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