the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
