yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
