Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
