ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
