So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Randomize
