i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
