I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
