thus making me awesome and them whores
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
