well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize