My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She bit a glass in half.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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