Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
After last night, I could never be a politician.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
