i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
