Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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