UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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