HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I see more hoeing in ur future
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