No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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