dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
