Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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